Katherine Von Drachenberg, better known as Kat Von D, may not be the obvious choice for crushable girls but I think there are those people out there that will understand this choice. Ok, so she looks like she might smell bad and need a shower but she can be my crush anyway. She has her own brand of sexiness, she's an amazingly talented artist, and she seems pretty sweet and likeable...but on top of all that...you can go out with this girl and have a good time...she'd probably out drink you.
An Argentinian, born in Nuevo Leon, Mexico, Kat Von D emigrated to the States with her parents at the age of 4. This makes me wonder...is Kat an illegal alien?
Now think about this...if strict anti immigration legislation makes its way into law...Kat may be forced to return to Mexico and apply for a green card...she may even have to sneak back in but from what I read recently the U.S. is already starting on its plans to build an actual wall along the border and this could make things extra difficult for my crush.
On a serious tip for a bit...why the hell does everybody assume Mexicans are field, construction, and yard workers? Why do people think that Mexicans come in to America like Chupa Cabras ready to suck the blood of the welfare goat? Most of the people that I come across just want a better life with more opportunity and a chance to help their kids get a good education. The same education that so many American kids take for granted.
Let's just get rid of the border and make the United States a part of Mexico...then together we can all sneak into Canada and use their free health care. Viva latinas!
Now im not one to be all up on celebrity stars, I'm more of the "damn...the girl at the bar looks fly yo!" type a guy. But, this next crush never fails to amaze me everytime. That's right Natalie Portman! Born Natalie Hershlag, June 9th in Israel, to Jewish parents, is quite possibly the most beautiful girl in the world! And for several reasons I'd like to mention...
Reason #1. She has what you call, INTELLIGENCE! Something we all lack. Most people you talk to in the first few minutes of the conversation, you notice something is missing, that's intelligence yo! This Harvard grad who majored in psychology also graduated at the top 10% of her class at 24 while, shooting films, photo shoots, and God knows what else in between. As a student, Portman co-authored two research papers which were published in professional scientific journals. Her 1998 high school paper on the "Enzymatic Production of Hydrogen" was entered in the Intel Science Talent Search. In 2002, she contributed to a study on memory called "Frontal Lobe Activation During Object Permanence" during her psychology studies at Harvard. Intelligence is the biggest turn on for me yo!
Reason #2. She's a known enviormentalist and supporter for humane groups. She has organized many benefits and charities to raise awareness in things she's tyring to raise awareness about(Hell if I know what she's raising awareness for, I just know she does). She's a known vegetarian(even though I'm not), a known animal lover and a know FINCA International, an organization that promotes micro-lending to help finance women-owned businesses in third world countries.
Reason #3. She's beautiful! Just look at her yo, I mean anyone who looks that good on a bike is hella dope to me!
Reason #4. She's hillarious! I mean dude the SNL skit, c'mon, fucking genius!
So Intelligence, Compassion, Beauty, And Sense of Humor...I say that qualifies for more than just a crush yo!
There is a woman, and she is more than a woman, she is art, she is beautiful, she is exciting, she makes my heart pump with joy, she makes me think of adventure, screen printing, and little notes written to people that I don't know. She makes me want to sit in a place with a big window, and look at the people outside and draw little caption bubbles above them with a dry erase marker, the things I think they should be saying to each other, or maybe them admitting their deepest secrets to each other. She writes with such imagination, but keeps reality heavily involved, she doesn't go too far over the edge, it's cute, it's poppy, it's breath taking at times, she is Miranda July. I'll be honest I haven't read her book yet, BUT I have a good reason, as soon as I bought it, my significant other snatched it up and has been glued to it ever since, she is slowly reading it and gives me insight on it so that keeps me excited. M.J. does a lot of performance art, and a lot of writing, contributions to the art community, she is a music listener, she is a dreamer, when I refer to her writing, I don't just mean books, the WORLD is her paper and she is a typewriter, this world and our minds are her canvas, you just have to let her paint you, don't worry you'll like it.
Alright ya'll, if you haven't heard, I have a sick obsession with this girl. Her name is Anna-Catherine Hartley or as the world knows her UFFIE, and she has lived everywhere I have always wanted to (except Miami, i prefer HOT-LANTA). Her singles are hotter than you'll ever realize, and her crew is too! Sure her lyrics aren't amazing, but they get you in that mood, either for loving, dancing, drinking, or causing trouble, and when she delivers with her cute/sexy voice, you just can't help but fall for her. She talks shit in the best ways too, just listen to "Hot Chick" and you'll understand where I'm coming from. I just want to hangout with her for one day, get food, get booze, dance,make moves on eachother, maybe play some grab ass, slide into second base, and then be pen pals. But the hottest thing ever would be, me djaying a party and her dancing her pretty little behind off, I just DON'T know what i'd play because most of my sets consist of atleast 2 of her singles, and the rest is all her label mates! Speaking of labels, she is on ED BANGER , and I dont know if you know, but France has been pumping out some gold for the past couple of years, even though UFF is from the U.S. she made her music in France. Sorry America, i'll leave you and your flag in a heartbeat for smelly armpits and cigarette breath (I heard France smells like this) if it means hanging with UFFIE. THATS MY WORD!(www.myspace.com/uffie)
Nominated six times in the Emmy Awards for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series, Betty White as Rose Nylund on the Golden Girls is definitely my crushin' pick. (The end of age-ism?) The hottie from St. Olaf was naive, yet competitive. Remember that episode where she coached a little league football team? She volunteered her time more than her roomates. She also drove a bookmobile. Hands down, if more people had hearts like this the world would be a better place!
I have had a crush on this girl for a while so I decided to give her the honors on this one especially since her album just dropped somewhat recently. This girl has geeky 80's dance moves, she is hard to understand, and in a lot of photos doesn't look too attractive...but her music is pretty addictive and always gets people dancing plus...I'd like to give her a smootch. I mean...look at those giant lips. If you happen to know her...then tell her that I said we should make out just a little bit. So about her new album...I was really afraid to listen to it. Arular is pretty ill from beginning to end and I knew without a doubt that I was going to be dissapointed by her second album but I finally listened to it. I am sorry Maya but it isn't as good as your first. Ok...Boyz and Paper Planes are dope but I'm just not feeling the rest. I'm sorry...I hope this doesn't affect our future smootch. Let's get a fruit cup when you visit Texas for ACL....you could salt and pepper your mango and I could lucas and lime my pineapple.
Shannyn Sossamon could very well be the answer to end racism...without a doubt though she is on my crush list. Now I don't know too much about Shannyn other than she has an interesting look to her so I decided to find out a little more about her and here's what I found: she was "discovered" by the director of Knight's Tale at a party where whe was djing (the idea of celebrity dj's annoys me and I will battle any celebrity dj to prove a point but I figured it's OK because she wasn't a celebrity yet therefore it IS cool that she was a dj) Now, more importantly than her being a dj, I found out she is of French, Hawaiian, Dutch, Irish, Filipino and German decent. She is proof that racially mixed people are more attractive. Therefore I have concluded that we must all hookup with people of different races and make little mixed babies...this will ensure a better looking society as well as bring an end to racism because race will no longer exist. Another interesting fact I discovered is that she has a son named Audio Science...what is that about? That is some crazy ish so I am beginning to think that to make it to my crush list you have to be a little crazy...I guess only time will tell.
Katherine Von Drachenberg, better known as Kat Von D, may not be the obvious choice for crushable girls but I think there are those people out there that will understand this choice. Ok, so she looks like she might smell bad and need a shower but she can be my crush anyway. She has her own brand of sexiness, she's an amazingly talented artist, and she seems pretty sweet and likeable...but on top of all that...you can go out with this girl and have a good time...she'd probably out drink you.
